LET’S HAVE SOME FUN!

Jeremy and I started a tradition 10 years ago and it’s absolutely one of my favorite things we do for fun as a couple. KNOCK IT ALL OUT IN ONE DAY, CHRISTMAS SHOPPING DAY DATE! Shopping for your date may not seem like fun as a couple (I get it! I don’t enjoy shopping typically), but hear me out…

On one hand, I enjoy the check the box nature of this day. We start the day with a plan. (Insert giggles for those who know how we operate!) For instance, we know where we are going, who we are buying for, a general idea of what we are buying, and we go.

On the other hand, it’s a day together. A common goal. No kids. Furthermore, Jeremy is part of this WITH me, not just the signature on the from tag just as surprised as the receiver upon opening.

We have a fun lunch out with a few adult beverages and then back to it. Did I mention no kids?

Typically, we drop them off at school and GO! As a result of virtual school though, we ALMOST cancelled.

ALMOST.

Even if we only needed one gift, WE WERE DOING THIS DAY DATE. (Said with a toddler foot stamp of stubbornness!) This is definitely OUR day and COVID, virtual school, a pandemic, none of that shit was going to get in the way of this tradition. NONE.

Hence, we did what any parents wanting to stay sane in the midst of a pandemic do. Obviously, we left the kids at home to virtual school themselves and continued with our day date tradition.

#winningparenting

WHY HAVE FUN AS A COUPLE?

I laughed at my insistence about this day. Why was this such a big deal? Since you asked, I’ll tell you. LOL!

Having fun as a couple is so important and frankly it gets lost sometimes in the busy-ness of life.

In addition, we are admittedly bad about making it a more CONSISTENT priority. Just like Goonies never die… well, Lowey Christmas shopping day dates never die!

Our kids are in a lot of activities and without a doubt, we love it. Even so… we STILL need time for ourselves.

The actual carving out of time though is TOUGH. Although we’re in a pandemic, this week alone there is not a single night free. NOT ONE. Ironically, I thought there was one night, but then got the latest tournament schedule and bam, gone.

To be clear, I’m not mad about it. In fact, I really do love it. Conversely though, the activities make it that much harder to get quality time in for fun as a couple WITH NO KIDS PRESENT.

Yes, my friend, this is key. Harder, but notice I didn’t say impossible.

When is the last time you made having fun as a couple a priority?

There are three reasons you may have stopped prioritizing dates.

First, money.

Second, time.

Third, over or under thinking it.

With this in mind, let’s explore.

MONEY- FUN AS A COUPLE

Obviously, I don’t think too many of us would argue with having a fancy dinner out once in a while. On the contrary, if you think this has to be THE weekly or even monthly fun as a couple I’m talking about, you are wrong.

Here are suggestions I received from my huddle for FREE (or inexpensive) ways to have fun as a couple:

• A bike ride (warmer months preferred!)
• Put the kids to bed and have a game night
• Snuggle on the couch and watch a movie WITHOUT YOUR PHONES
• Go to one kid’s sporting event WITHOUT your other kids
• First, feed the kids a frozen pizza and settle them in for their own movie. Then make your own dinner together. In contrast to your normal menu, try an involved recipe making you both feel like Guy Fieri!
• Run errands together! Instead of being hustle and bustle, make it a fun as a couple activity to accomplish together. Who doesn’t love a good checklist? (me, it’s me…)
• An evening walk in the neighborhood to just talk
• Go for ice cream or have a coffee shop date and just sit and talk
• Hold hands
• Hug for 60 seconds. I actually read this in an article. Chest to chest hug for 60 seconds. It’s awkward at first! Like a conversation you don’t know how to end. Even so, there are great benefits once you get beyond the awkward!
• Barter babysitting with another family once a month. They get a night out. You get a night out. Kids get TWO playdates in one month. I call it a win-win-win.

Don’t let money be a hinderance to having fun as a couple. At some point, it’s just another excuse.

TIME- FUN AS A COUPLE

Before kids and even when the kids were little, Jeremy and I used to periodically play a game of Scrabble in the evening. Definitely funny because I’m actually a terrible speller. I didn’t win very often (ever).

I bring this up because I can’t tell you the last time we played an evening game of Scrabble. However, I CAN tell you the last time I scrolled through my social media of an evening and completely lost an hour in the time warp that is Facebook and Instagram.

Hmmm. Time? Ah snap.

Prioritize. We love to use time as an excuse. And yes, when you look at your schedule and the calendar is overwhelmed with activities, it can FEEL as if there is no time. Absolutely.

Nonetheless, is there something you do mindlessly, like a Facebook scroll time warp, which can be replaced with some fun as a couple for just one night a week?

OVER OR UNDER THINKING IT- FUN AS A COUPLE

If the fun as a couple statement makes you feel uneasy, maybe even some guilt, you likely fall into one of two categories. Over thinker or under thinker.

The over thinker of date night has BIG, GRANDIOSE plans for the fun as a couple. Not only a fancy dinner out and maybe a hotel stay, but also kids with amazing plans of their own.

Reel it in sister!

Undoubtedly, you can do this, but not every week has to be a scene from a Sandra Bullock movie.

Or maybe the over thinker feels guilt over spending time as a couple and it “should” really be family time. STOP.

First off, I’m sure you have more quality time with your family than you give yourself credit for. In fact, we’re all our own worst critics.

Second, spending quality time as a couple is healthy for everyone. Don’t believe me? Check this out.

Next up, the under thinker. In short, you downplay the importance. Or say things like, “we do spend time together.” However, is it QUALITY time together?

I’ll give a personal example. We have certain shows we watch together as a couple, but I can assure you the focus is not on the US part of it. Computers, phones, books, something else always out while watching the show. WAY less present in this moment than we would be if we consciously made plans.

If I can admit this, so can you. Any of this sound familiar? Quit being an under (or over) thinker about fun as a couple.

FUN AS A COUPLE TRADITIONS

Traditions can play a big part in your fun as a couple too!

For instance, here are two more traditions we like to do together in addition to our Christmas shopping day date.

First, a good theme party and we’re in! Our tradition with friends from college for a themed Christmas party every year is a crowd favorite.

80s Theme Christmas Party- Jeremy never disappoints!

The montage of costumes is fantastic. Themes such as Rock N’ Roll, Christmas movies, 80s, you name it, we’ve likely done it. One thing I love about this tradition is how the guys get just as into the costumes and figuring out something outlandish to do as the ladies.

Sadly, 2020 got in the way of this tradition dating back to at least 2003, but 2021 WILL BE EPIC!

Give us a theme party, Jeremy will even “sacrifice” and grow out a moustache for the event. (insert giant Heather eye roll)

Rock N’ Roll Christmas!

Next fun as a couple activity tradition, CONCERTS!

Unquestionably, 2020 has been a tough one for our concert going. A big void in the Lowey fraternity house fun FOR SURE. We cover a wide genre of music, too.

Find us at Neil Diamond, Imagine Dragons, Red Hot Chili Peppers, cover band of Billy Joel and Elton John, Guns N’ Roses, Lumineers, just to name a few.

The craziest adventure out of all of these? Neil Diamond. I know, funny right? We even tee-peed our friends’ house on the way home from this concert.

#winningadulting

SUMMARY

While we have some fun traditions, frankly we could use some work on the regular/consistent portion of having fun as a couple. How about you?

And while I’m what we categorize as the over thinker of date night, 2021 will be the year of making the week to week fun as a couple FOCUS a priority. Traditions are great, but only come around a few times of year.

In short, start small. Additionally, be consistent.

At the end of the day, we have to remember to have fun as a couple. For real. We all put WAY too much pressure on trying to ADULT a certain way. In my opinion, OVERRATED!

Now, go make it a priority to have some fun… together! I know I will.

This year my husband and I set a weekly Wednesday date night. Whether it’s a fancy dinner, a bike ride, an escape room adventure, or eating way too much Chinese food on the couch in our pajamas, it’s a scheduled time to connect. I look forward to it every week. I am consistently reminded of why we chose to do life together which brings joy to our marriage, our parenting, and life in general.    -Tanya Finkbiner

#lifegoals